'I was an alcoholic mother'

NHS

Journalist and author Niki Shisler, from London, sought help for her alcoholism when she realised she could no longer take care of her son.

“I was never a binge drinker. I was very much a 'maintenance' drinker. I was drinking round the clock. My friends afterwards all said, 'We never saw you drunk,' and I told them, 'No, you actually never saw me sober.'

"At first, like most people, I enjoyed alcohol. There's a reason why you get addicted to something. It's because it's fun at first.

"It's hard to say when I crossed the line from social to problem drinking but by the age of 32 it had reached a point where I'd find myself sitting in the bathroom at 8.30am pouring hidden vodka into a cup of tea.

"Once you get to that stage, denial becomes impossible. Nonetheless, even then it took some time to find the courage to deal with the problem.

"It's hard to face up to the shame of something like that, especially when none of the people around you know how bad it is. I was very good at hiding my drinking.

"I had my first son, Joey, when I was 24 and split with his father a year later. My next relationship, and the one where my drinking really took off, was abusive and violent.

"I tried to shelter Joey from the worst of it, but there's no doubt that on occasion he saw things he shouldn't have. He saw me get hurt physically, as well as all the emotional abuse I got.

'So unhappy'

"By the time he was seven, Joey was pretty much living with my mother full-time. I had split with my partner by this point, but it was my inability to care for Joey that was the final spur to get me into recovery.

"A few days after my 33rd birthday I was going over to visit Joey at my mum's and as I started to walk towards her house, I got the feeling in my throat that I was going to cry. I could feel the tears rising, almost like I was going to be sick. As soon as I got in the door, I burst into tears.

"I was sitting on the floor with my mum, crying and just saying over and over, 'I'm just so unhappy'. That was the point when my mum said, 'Why don't you phone Alcoholics Anonymous?' I went to my first meeting that evening and I haven't had a drink since.

"Joey was eight when I got sober. I moved in with my mum rather than uproot him. I had to rebuild my relationship with him, to make him understand that I wasn't going to let him down again, and that he could trust me.

"I don't miss alcohol, but I do miss the taste and experience. I miss having a nice crisp rosé on a lovely summer's day, or a really nice glass of wine when you're having a great Sunday roast. I can never have another drink. It's never too late, but the sooner you tackle your problem the better."

Share:

• 
• 
• 

Save:

• 
• 

Subscribe: 

'I used to drink all day'

NHS

George Budge knew he had to get help when he realised he was drinking all day, every day.

Over the years George had gone from drinking socially in pubs to drinking 1.5 litres of vodka a day at home.

"I don’t know what the turning point was," he says, "but I was on my own so no-one around me was telling me to stop. I wasn’t eating much and I was drinking 24 hours a day.

"Some deep voice of self-preservation inside me said, 'You can’t go on like this'. I think you have to seize those moments as they might not come again for years."

But George had no clear idea of where to go for help. "I rang an ex-probation officer I had met two years before," he says. "She'd told me she thought I had a drink problem but I was in denial at the time."

The ex-probation officer put him in touch with an addiction support group in Richmond, south-west London.

George received an assessment within 24 hours and went on a day programme involving group therapy and counselling.

"I stopped drinking overnight," he says. "but that's not something you should really do without advice, as you can go into fits and do yourself damage.

"I was shaking, sweating, scared to get on buses, and frightened of everything. Your whole body and mind is changing. It’s like having your brain shaken."

Water and drinks

NHS

Your body needs water or other fluids to work properly and to avoid dehydration.

This article explains how much we need to drink, how to spot the signs of dehydration and how to choose healthier non-alcoholic drinks. For advice on alcohol, see ourAlcohol section.

Water makes up about two-thirds of the weight of a healthy body.

Most of the chemical reactions that happen in our cells need water in order to take place. We also need water so that our blood can carry nutrients around the body and get rid of waste.

How much should we drink?

To stay healthy, it's important to replace the fluid we lose when we breathe, sweat or urinate.

We get some fluid from our food but most comes from drinks.

The European Food Safety Authority recommends that women should drink about 1.6 litres of fluid and men should drink about 2.0 litres of fluid per day. That's about eight glasses of 200ml each for a woman, and 10 glasses of 200ml each for a man.

Caring for an alcoholic

NHS

If you're a carer for a problem drinker, finding help can be a frustrating experience.

People who care for problem drinkers sometimes have to struggle to get the recognition and support they're entitled to.

“They have not always been perceived as ‘legitimate’ carers,” says Drew Lindon of The Princess Royal Trust for Carers (now the Carers Trust).

“But it is clear from the legislation and the National Carers Strategy that people who take care of problem drinkers should be recognised as carers,” he says.

You have legal rights as a carer if you provide regular and substantial unpaid care for someone who may be entitled to community care services.

For example, you are entitled to a carer's assessment and may be entitled to carers' services (including breaks), whether or not the person you care for receives any services. 

Carers who don't meet their local authority's criteria for getting support may still be able to get help from local voluntary services, such as Carers' Centres. To find your local Carers' Centre, go to the Carers Trust website.

Your wellbeing

The shame often associated with alcoholism, as well as denial, can be an obstacle to getting help.

“The stigma will affect both the alcoholic and the carer,” says Lindon. “It can affect their ability to ask for and get help.”

Being a carer is hard work and, with so much to do, it can be difficult to find quality time for yourself.

Staying well and healthy increases your ability to look after someone. But no one can plan for every eventuality and we all get ill sometimes.

'My wife's an alcoholic': a carer's story

NHS

David has cared for his wife since she started drinking after the birth of their only child 20 years ago.

He describes caring for Karen (not her real name) as “moving from one crisis to the next”.

To protect his young son from her excessive drinking, David reluctantly sent him to boarding school.

Despite the challenges, David has stayed with his wife, although he says their marriage stopped being a husband-and-wife relationship a long time ago.

Throughout the years, three things have given David the strength to keep going: the Samaritans helpline, his diary and exercise.

Bipolar disease

Karen had postnatal depression, which was later diagnosed as bipolar disease. She gave up work because of her illness and started drinking as a way of coping.

“She would drink quite a lot of whisky, which would make her very aggressive,” says David.

She drank more when she was stressed, for example when their son was leaving for or coming home from boarding school. “He would see her at her worst,” says David.

David sometimes had to call an ambulance for Karen after she'd had a nasty fall, or call the police when she became violent towards him and their son.

“We just moved from one crisis to the next,” he says.

As Karen’s drinking showed no sign of stopping, David decided to move out of their west London home with his son, who was then aged 10.

“Karen’s family said my first responsibility was to my son and that I should take him from the hell at home,” says David.  

Living separately has helped prevent the family from permanently splitting up. “My caring role has been one of trying to keep the family going,” he says.

David, who lives near his wife, says his life has become “incredibly isolated”. But, as a self-employed tradesman in the decorating business, he says he is happy spending time alone.

David now spends 10 hours a week caring for Karen. She also receives support from social services, including home help, through her Disability Living Allowance.

'Social drinking': the hidden risks

NHS

If you think only alcoholics and binge drinkers are putting their health at risk, think again.

Many people who see themselves as "social drinkers" are at risk of developing long-term health conditions because of the amount they regularly drink.

Most drinkers are unaware that regularly drinking more than the limits advised by the NHS can lead to a wide range of long-term health problems, including cancers, strokes and heart attacks.

More than 55% of people questioned in a YouGov poll thought that alcohol only damages your health if you regularly get drunk or binge drink.

The 2010 survey of 2,000 adults also found that 83% believed that regularly drinking more than the recommended daily limits didn’t put their long-term health at risk.

The survey suggests that 7.5 million people might be unaware of the damage their drinking could be causing.

The NHS recommends:

• Men should not regularly drink more than 3-4 units of alcohol a day
• Women should not regularly drink more than 2-3 units a day
• If you've had a heavy drinking session, avoid alcohol for 48 hours

"Regularly" means drinking this amount every day or most days of the week.

Read about the risks of drinking too much to find out how your drinking habits may be affecting your health.

'Vodka nearly killed me'

NHS

After drinking a litre of vodka with her friends to celebrate the end of term, Anna started to slip into a coma.

It was nearly the end of term and, to celebrate, one of Anna’s friends suggested they get drunk. “One of the boys looks older, so he went to buy us alcohol,” says Anna, 15. “I asked for an alcopop, but he brought back a litre bottle of vodka.

“I hated the taste, but I decided I’d drink the whole bottle – and that’s exactly what I did. The others shared fizzy wine. I remember being sick, but I don’t remember much more.”

Around 10.30pm, Anna was found slumped outside the youth club. For 10 minutes, friends tried but failed to get her to open her eyes.

An ambulance was called. The crew couldn't rouse her. It was 11.15pm. Her heart rate was dangerously low.

As Anna was rushed to East Surrey Hospital in Redhill, her mother Joanna received the terrible news: her daughter was unconscious. “I just froze,” she says. “When I reached A&E, Anna was on a trolley with drips in her nose and a drain down her throat.

“The doctors opened her eyes and shone a torch into them, and her eyes had rolled right back. They asked me whether she took drugs, but I said no," says Anna. "Funnily enough, I'd never worried about alcohol. She didn’t even like the taste.

"The doctors managed to bring her round in A&E and they were pumping fluids into her. She had serious dehydration, but they got her to respond.”

But at 3am, the monitors connected to Anna began bleeping loudly. Her heart rate had plummeted. Anna was going into a coma, so they started injecting her with drugs to revive her. She seemed to be dying.

"For nearly an hour, medical staff tried different drugs," says Joanna. "Luckily, she stabilised again, and the alarms went quiet. Her colour improved and she started to breathe more deeply.

"Then at 5am, Anna suddenly sat up and said, ‘Where am I? I need the loo!’ She’s vowed never to get drunk again. She’s learnt her lesson."

“I can’t stand the smell of alcohol now," says Anna.

Share:

• 
• 
• 

Save:

• 
• 

Subscribe: 

Alcohol support

NHS

Realising you have a problem with alcohol is the first step to getting better, but it is often the hardest one.

You may need help if:

• You always feel the need to have a drink. 
• You get into trouble because of your drinking.
• Other people warn you about how much you’re drinking.

A good place to start is with your GP. Be honest with them about how much you drink.

If your body has become dependent on booze, stopping drinking overnight can be life-threatening, so get advice about cutting down gradually.

Your GP may refer you to a local community alcohol service. Ask about free local support groups, day-centre counselling and one-to-one counselling.

You may be prescribed medication such as chlordiazepoxide, a sedative, to help with alcohol withdrawal symptoms. Alcohol withdrawal symptoms can range from not sleeping, agitation, anxiety, sweating and tremors, right through to vomiting, diarrhoea, hallucinations and seizures.

Staying sober

Cutting down and stopping drinking is often just the beginning, and most people will need some degree of help to stay alcohol-free in the long term.

'My drinks diary shock'

NHS

Patrick Greene didn’t see himself as a heavy drinker until he kept a drinks diary (PDF, 697kb) for a week. He says it was a wake-up call.

"I was working from home and found that if I didn't go out in the evening I'd feel like I'd been cooped up all day," Patrick says.

"After doing the diary I went back to work at the company office so that I got the human contact I needed during the day."

Patrick's drinks diary

Read Patrick's diary to find out how much he was drinking in a typical week:

Day one: Wednesday

"Having drunk a couple of bottles of red wine last night I woke up about 5am, fairly dehydrated. Had supper with a friend at about 7pm. We shared two bottles of red wine and a bottle of sparkling mineral water."

Day two: Thursday

"Felt woolly-headed when I woke up at 8am. Drank two cups of decaf black coffee. Skipped lunch. Supper at a friend’s house. We had a bottle of red wine and a bottle of mineral water."

Day three: Friday

"Woke up at 6am, thirsty and worrying about the business. At midday I met a friend at the pub and had a bottle of beer. We moved on to a restaurant for lunch, ate risotto and polished off a bottle of white wine.

"Took the train down to Gloucestershire for the weekend. Arrived at 10pm and went to the pub to meet a friend. We had a late supper and I drank two vodka tonics and two bottles of wine."

The risks of drinking too much

NHS

Most people who have alcohol-related health problems aren’t alcoholics. They're simply people who have regularly drunk more than the recommended levels for some years.

Regularly drinking more than the recommended daily limits risks damaging your health.

There's no guaranteed safe level of drinking, but if you drink less than the recommended daily limits, the risks of harming your health are low.

And it's certainly not only people who get drunk or binge drink who are at risk. Most people who regularly drink more than the NHS recommends don't see any harmful effects at first.

Alcohol’s hidden harms usually only emerge after a number of years. And by then, serious health problems can have developed.

Liver problems, reduced fertility, high blood pressure, increased risk of various cancers and heart attack are some of the numerous harmful effects of regularly drinking more than the recommended levels.

The effects of alcohol on your health will depend on how much you drink. The more you drink, the greater the health risks.

Drinkers can be divided into three risk categories:

Tips on cutting down

NHS

If you regularly drink more than the recommended limits, try these simple tips to help you cut down.

Make a plan
Before you start drinking, set a limit on how much you’re going to drink.

Set a budget
Only take a fixed amount of money to spend on alcohol.

Let them knowIf you let your friends and family know you’re cutting down and that it’s important to you, you could get support from them.

Take it a day at a timeCut back a little each day. That way, every day you do is a success.

Make it a smaller one
You can still enjoy a drink but go for smaller sizes. Try bottled beer instead of pints, or a small glass of wine instead of a large one.

Have a lower-strength drink
Cut down the alcohol by swapping strong beers or wines for ones with a lower strength (ABV in %). You'll find this information on the bottle.

Stay hydrated
Drink a pint of water before you start drinking, and don't use alcohol to quench your thirst. Have a soft drink instead.

Take a break
Have the odd day each week when you don’t have an alcoholic drink.

Benefits of cutting down

The immediate effects of cutting down include:

Alcohol units

NHS

We're supposed to be keeping an eye on how much we drink, but how many of us really know what a unit of alcohol is?

With so many different drinks and glass sizes, from shots to pints – not to mention bottles – it's easy to get confused about how many units are in your drink.

The idea of counting alcohol units was first introduced in the UK in 1987 to help people keep track of their drinking.

Units are a simple way of expressing the quantity of pure alcohol in a drink. One unit equals 10ml or 8g of pure alcohol, which is around the amount of alcohol the average adult can process in an hour. This means that within an hour there should be, in theory, little or no alcohol left in the blood of an adult, although this will vary from person to person.

Binge drinking

NHS

Binge drinking usually refers to drinking lots of alcohol in a short space of time or drinking to get drunk.

Researchers define binge drinking as consuming eight or more units in a single session for men and six or more for women.

However, this definition does not apply to everyone because the tolerance and the speed of drinking in a session varies from person to person.

When drinking, try to pace yourself, avoid drinking more than you are used to and avoid drinking so much that you get drunk.

This is even more important if you are out in risky or unfamiliar circumstances. You can be at risk from others, and may not be able to look after your friends.

You can easily lose control of what you do or say and may make risky decisions, thinking you’re invulnerable.

Binge drinking increases the risk of heart attack. It could cause you to vomit and if you’re sick when very drunk you could breathe in your own vomit and suffocate.

Drink-by-drink guide

Below is a drink-by-drink guide, based on a standard (175ml) 12% volume glass of white wine and 4% strength pint of lager, showing how quickly alcohol can affect your mind and body.

One glass of white wine or a pint of lager (approximately two units):

• You’re talkative and you feel relaxed.
• Your self-confidence increases.
• Driving ability is already impaired, which is why it is best to drink no alcohol if you're driving.

Track your drinking

NHS

Use the NHS Choices interactive tools to calculate alcohol units, assess your drinking levels and track your drinking over time.

Self-assessment

Are you drinking within recommended limits? Use the drinking self-assessment tool to find out if you’re drinking too much.

It’ll help you to assess the effects of your drinking and, if you are drinking too much, suggest ways of cutting down.

Unit calculators

Use the alcohol unit calculator to find out how many units there are in a single drink or in a number of drinks.

If you’re on the move, you can also text Units to 64746 to access the NHS units calculator on any smartphone.

iPhone tracker

If you have an iPhone or iPod touch you can download the drinks tracker from the iTunes app store for free.

The app allows you to calculate units in your drinks, track your drinking over months and get personalised feedback.

Desktop tracker

The desktop tracker lets you calculate units, keep a drinks diary on your desktop and provides personalised feedback on your drinking.

Available to both Windows and Mac users.

Drinks diary

Keeping a drinks diary for a week can be a real eye-opener to people who don’t realise how much they’re drinking.

Download the drinks diary leaflet (PDF, 697kb) to work out your alcohol intake over a week.

Share:

• 
• 
• 

Save:

• 
• 

Subscribe: 

Hangover cures

NHS

Splitting headaches, sickness, dizziness, dehydration: anyone who's ever drunk too much knows the consequences of it.

Alcohol is a diuretic (meaning it removes fluids from the body), so drinking excessively can lead to dehydration. Dehydration is what causes many of the symptoms of a hangover.

Alcohol can upset your stomach and give you a bad night’s sleep. You may still have some alcohol in your system the next morning.

Cure myth

Hangover cures are generally a myth. There are no cures for a hangover. There are tips for avoiding hangovers and for easing the symptoms if you have one.

The best way to avoid a hangover is not to drink. If you decide to drink, do it sensibly and within the recommended limits.

To minimise the risk of future serious health problems, men shouldn't regularly drink more than three to four units a day. Women shouldn't regularly drink more than two to three units a day.

To avoid a hangover, don't drink more than you know your body can cope with. If you're not sure how much that is, be careful.